One of the key components of attachment parenting is the family bed. This refers to the sharing of sleeping space among family members, and particularly denotes a mother being physically close to her baby during the night. “Co-sleeping” refers to sleeping in close proximity to one’s baby or child, and could simply mean sleeping in the same room; “bed-sharing,” on the other hand, is literally that – family members sleep in the same bed. Therefore, the family bed does not have to be one enormous mattress; it can be whatever arrangement works for a family that fosters attachment.

The family bed has many physical and emotional benefits, with some cross-overs. Among the emotional benefits are increased trust on the part of the infant, emotional well-being for the mother, and a stable relationship between parent and child (thus setting the stage for healthy relationships later in life). Following is a list of these benefits explained in more detail.

1. Trust
A baby does not understand that you are still “there” when he is sleeping in another room. He may become fearful and distrustful if he wakes at night and his mother is not available. A baby who has his needs met consistently – day or night – learns to trust his parents. The family bed makes the mother available to nurse the baby or simply provide physical contact. The baby then comes to trust his parents and develops a sense of security.

2. If mama’s not happy…
Have you ever heard the saying, “If Mama’s not happy, then nobody’s happy”? There is some truth to that statement! A mother who participates in the family bed gets more sleep than a mother who gets up multiple times during the night, thus making her refreshed and in a much better mood. Also, a mother’s nursing through the night produces “happy hormones” that bond her with her baby and make her feel content.

3. Relationship
The family bed fosters strong relationships. For mothers or fathers who work all day, this may be the only time they get to have physical “cuddle time” with their child. And, once again, the family bed facilitates the breastfeeding relationship, which fosters important, healthful bonds that set the stage for healthy, functional relationships later in life.

4. The human pacemaker
While this is a physical benefit, its emotional ramifications are significant. Statistics show that babies who sleep in a family bed arrangement are far less likely to die of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) than those babies left to sleep alone (this is why SIDS is also called “crib death” or “cot death”). In countries where bed-sharing is common (such as India), SIDS is virtually unknown.

When a baby experiences SIDS, she simply stops breathing inexplicably. Studies from as far back as the mid-1900s have shown that babies who sleep with their mothers actually match their breathing patterns to the mother’s – she is like a human pacemaker for her baby’s breathing. Current research supports these studies from the first half of the 20th century.

While society is still coming to terms with accepting the family bed, the important thing is to choose what is right for your family. There are many benefits to the family bed, and many nay-sayers are simply unaware of such benefits.

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Co-sleeping, also known as the family bed is a controversial topic today, but very quickly it is gaining supporters.  Co-sleeping is exactly what it sounds like it might be, sleeping together as a family in one bed, mom, dad and children.  Parents choose to co-sleep for a variety of reasons including ease of breastfeeding, a close bond with their children, and to establish a consistent sleeping routine for themselves and their child(ren).  There are numerous other reasons as well but it is gaining popularity among parents because they are finding more and more that it works out for all family members.

There are many arguments against co-sleeping, however one could easily find fault with these arguments.  Many of the arguments address potential problems, such as not sleeping with your child if you have been under the influence of drugs or alcohol, not allowing a toddler to sleep next to an infant, and not sleeping with your child if you suffer from sleeping disorders.  These obstacles are rare or can be overcome with a little creativity or planning.

Most parents who do choose to co-sleep are very responsible adults who choose to sleep with their children to reap the many positive benefits, such as the bond it creates between a parent and a child, the positive sleep pattern it allows into their lives, the ease of breastfeeding a child in the middle of the night.  All of these things paint a wonderful picture of a positive parenting relationship between parent and child. 

Co-sleeping is a natural way of taking care of our children that our ancestors did for many years.  The mothers of children for many years even carried their children around with them throughout the day, never allowing their infant to even leave the comfort and closeness of their bodies during the daytime, much less during the night.  This begs the question, “If it’s not broke, why fix it?”  If this process worked for so many years before us, then why do we question it so quickly today? 

Co-sleeping might not work for everyone, but it is definitely something that should be considered as a positive parenting technique and as an opportunity for a restful nights sleep to be had by all.  If you do decide to co-sleep especially with an infant, there are some precautions to consider.  Do not use heavy bedding, as the infant can suffocate.  Do not allow the infant to sleep on the outer edge where falls can occur.  Investing in bed rails might be a good idea.  Make sure your mattress is on the firm side so that the surface your baby sleeps on is as level as possible. This will help everyone get a restful sleep if they are not tossed when the person next to them turns.

After taking the needed precautions and reviewing the benefits, try the co-sleeping arrangement for yourself and see how rewarding it can be for the whole family.

Technorati Tags: cosleeping, family bed, co-sleeping, parents, children, baby