If your child gives you a glazed look when you suggest taking a walk in the yard or to the park to enjoy the outdoors he may have “nature deficit disorder.”  Author Richard Louv coined this phrase in his 2005 book Last Child in the Woods.  What Louv was referring to was the reality that kids today have a declining interest in things that our natural.  That’s pretty frightening when you think about it, especially when well meaning parents may be the cause.

Gone are the days when kids were encouraged to go out and explore nature on their bikes or on roller blades, etc., with their friends.  Those were the days when the only restrictions or guidelines given were to be home for set meal times and before the street lights came on.

Today few parents are comfortable letting their kids ride their bikes beyond their own street, not alone to the nearest park or conservation area.  With every new media highlight of a child abduction, drug incident or worse, parents become more cautious.  The end result of all this caution is a generation of kids that have become distanced from their environment.

Not only have parents limited children’s access to natural environments, but the lure of television, computers and video games has also eaten up a significant portion of recreation time that might have been otherwise spent out doors.

According to the Playing for Keeps organization 80 percent of children under age 2 and more than 60 percent of children aged 2 to 5 do not have access to daily outdoor activities.  The National Parks Service reports that state and national parks are experiencing a 10 to 20 percent drop in visitation.  

In 2007, the Governor’s Outdoors Conference in State College gathered over 300 public health officials, directors of government agencies, park managers, nature-related outdoor group representatives and outdoor enthusiasts from across the country to look at the challenge of getting kids and adults outdoors and the reasons for these changing trends.

This gathering of outdoor stakeholders came up with a number of reasons and causes for this unhealthy trend. For one, it was determined that urbanization and school district’s concern about injury-related lawsuits contributed to the decreased number of easily accessible outdoor opportunities for kids.  Other reasons point to our unhealthy diets.  Health care workers notice a lack of stamina in our youth when confronted with outdoor activities and link this observation to lower levels of Vitamin D.

So if you think your child has nature deficit disorder what can you do?  Here are a few suggestions:

• Get involved on your school PTA and encourage the school to incorporate more nature trips into the school curriculum.
• Take community events out of the manicured local parks. Instead plan community events in nearby conservation parks.  Carpool families to the location and hold a barbecue and baseball game there.  The different wildlife to be seen in a conservation park will make the trip interesting and get the kids excited about the beauty that really is all around them.
• Hang bird feeders around your house and look at the different birds you can attract with different seeds.  Involve the kids in this activity and watch their interest grow!
• If you have space, plant a children’s garden or start planting in pots. Put them in charge of weeding and watering. When their seedlings bloom their excitement will be something to behold.
• On your next family vacation choose a location that has many outdoor adventuring opportunities.

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Is your child suffering from not spending enough time in nature? Richard Louv, author of Last Child In The Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder, asserts that many modern children do. In fact, other medical and mental health experts and a growing body of researchers are also concerned about how little time our children are spending in the great outdoors. Why should parents be aware of this? What are some of the problems that result from nature deficit and what can we do to prevent it in our children?

First let’s define the problem. As Louv sees it, when our kids spend less time in natural environments, the results are what we’re seeing more and more of in recent years: weight issues in children, attention problems, depression, anxiety and stress. According to Louv, anecdotal evidence as well as several studies point to a connection between the increasing amount of time our kids spend indoors doing more sedentary activities, and emotional, health and social problems.

To be fair, many parents are justifiably concerned about safety. But this comes at a price. Many of us who are parents today remember spending much of our own childhoods out of doors, even in less than perfect weather! Long walks through the woods with friends, bike rides through the neighborhood feeling the wind in our hair, day dreaming for hours on the tire swing under the tree, these were the stuff memories were made of. Our kids today are often shuttled from one activity to another, most of these taking place in structured environments, and many of them indoors. What are our kids missing out on?

The research points to several things. One is that spending time in nature can help relieve stress. It also helps kids focus more. One study conducted by the University of Illinois found that children with attention problems can focus better after outdoor activities. Other studies point to increased cognitive ability among kids who have access to natural settings and display fewer attention lapses (such as interrupting, not listening and distraction). Also important are the findings that unstructured play (the kind that takes place when kids roam the great outdoors) leads to enhanced emotional and social development. They get better at problem solving and getting along with other kids. Not to be discounted is the fact any Mom can testify to: that getting the kids outdoors makes them calmer, helps them eat better as well as sleep better!

So how do we make sure our kids are getting enough time outside, especially if we don’t live in a rural area? One way is to structure recreation around nature. Spending time in parks, taking walks on nature trails, hiking, mountain climbing, visiting lakes, rivers and beaches and picnics outdoors are some ideas. Even in urban areas you probably have access to city parks and botanical gardens. Build a treehouse in your backyard if you can. Encourage your kids to go outside and play as much as possible. Make it mandatory if they don’t seem to enjoy it at first. Like eating vegetables, they often will start to love it with time. If it’s not safe for your kids to play outside without supervision, then spend time outside with them. Go for walks outside as a family. Eat some of your meals outdoors if weather permits. Involve the kids in outdoor chores like yard work or hanging laundry. The benefits will likely be obvious to you after a period of time and are worth the extra effort.

It has taken some time, but finally there is widespread awareness that electronic games are contributing to the poor health of our kids.  Studies are showing that kids in general are spending approximately 5 hours a day in front of the TV and/or game video screen. Sure some of these games can be entertaining or even stimulating to a point, but 5 hours of electronic entertainment is way too much time for growing kids to spend in one stationary position. 

Researchers from Yale University and the University of Hawaii published a paper recently stating that by 2010 more than 50% of children in America will be overweight.  That’s a statistic that no one wants to see realized.  So what can we do? For many families it will take a significant effort to change some activities that have become hard to break habits.

Electronic games and DVDs have become the modern pacifier for many kids.  Parents will often pop in a DVD or whip out the Game Boy to keep kids occupied during long trips, while seated in waiting rooms or at any moment in the day when a child says “I’m bored.”

The challenge is to find ways to control (or better yet eliminate) the use of electronics as a means of childhood entertainment.  To get some ideas as to what you might do to entertain your kids, let’s take a look back to the pre-Game Boy era…

It’s a Wednesday evening, dinner’s done and the kids have finished their homework.  Mom looks to the game cupboard and pulls the Twister box off the shelf.  Twister is the game where the players are the game pieces.  Unfold the game “sheet” on the family room floor, get the spinner out, spin away and start moving arms and limbs onto the colored dots as directed by the spinner.  Last person to fall wins.  Now that’s a fun way to end a typical week day.

While Twister is a game from the past, it is very much available today as are a good many  traditional games that are engaging, fun and require no batteries or adapters!  The following are great games for all ages that you might want to pick up either on ebay, at a local garage sale, or your local toy store:  Monopoly (not the electronic version), Sorry, Battleship, Clue and Scrabble.  

What to do on a snowy Saturday afternoon?  Why build a snow fort of course?  Moms and Dads can and should join in this game since the more hands involved in fort construction the sooner it’ll be ready for its military inhabitants! All that snow that is cleared from the driveway and that is on the lawn, will be put to great use as building material for the family snow fort.

Who doesn’t like the game “Simon Says”?  This classic movement game is fun for any age and the best part is your 2 year old can have as much fun playing this as the 12 year old.  Assign a young child to be “Simon” for a really neat “Simon Says” session. Mom and Dad can be pretty good at giving orders around the house let’s see how good (or how able) they are at following directions especially when the order is “Touch your toes!”  Keep your chiropractor on call during your “Simon Says” sessions.

The best part of any “non-electronic” family activity is the good conversation and laughter that are so much a part of family life.  Watching your kids giggle as you trip over yourself during a game of Twister is a priceless moment no electronic game can replace.

Two year olds get a bad rep. Everywhere you look and listen you read and hear about the so-called “Terrible Twos.” To be fair, many young tots are going through a phase of disequilibrium at age 2 1/2, according to many child development experts.

Add to that the fact that most parents are trying to potty train at this age, and Mom may be pregnant or already have another child, and it’s no wonder the 2’s can be a bit challenging.

Here are a few tips to help you deal with your toddler and even enjoy this phase!

1) Remember that a toddler is nothing more than a baby on wheels.
Meaning, toddlers are active and can get into a whole lot of trouble, fast… yet they’re still so immature emotionally. That’s why tantrums are so common at this age. Toddlers have a hard time dealing with the overwhelming emotions they experience. Reading about the developmental milestones children are reaching at this age can help.
2) Don’t forget babywearing. Or perhaps we should call it Toddlerwearing!
Wearing your 2 to 3 year old in a soft cloth carrier, backpack or sling can still be a huge lifesaver. When your toddler is tired, overstimulated or otherwise out of sorts, wearing them will help them to settle down and maybe even go to sleep! The same is certainly true of breastfeeding. Dubbed “baby Prozac” by many, nursing can soothe the boo-boos and help a reluctant napper settle down.
3) Take care of Mom.
By the time the baby is a toddler, we moms often expect life to get back to “normal”. We think that we should have it all together, be back at our prepregnancy weight, and have the house spotless like it was before baby came into the picture. This is unrealistic, especially for a mom who is expecting another baby and caring for a 2 year old! Life with a toddler is often more fatiguing because toddlers are heavier, require more supervision and discipline, and now that they’re mobile they create much more housework too!
Mom would do well to not expect too much of herself and to make sure she’s taking a break from her duties once in awhile.  Most toddlers are getting closer to their Dads and Grandparents, so asking these loving people to take over for a few hours so you can read a book, exercise or nap is a priority.

Doing so means she’ll have fresh energy and perspective to devote to her favorite little person - her busy, intense and lovable 2 year old.

A child misbehaves by poking, kicking or similarly assaulting another child. The parent grabs him by the arm and slaps him for hitting that child. “Don’t Hit,” they may even yell. Hmm…what’s wrong with this scenario?

Spanking teaches children that violence is the solution to problems. Hitting teaches that we can and should use physical coersion to get what we want. Not only does spanking teach things that are surely contrary to what we actually want it can errode the trust between parent and child too.

Essentially when we talk about discipline we are talking about behavior that we would like to correct in our children.  What better way to teach our children then to model good behavior and behave in a way that is considered respectful, fair and appropriate.  Hitting or spanking a child is a behavior not considered respectful or even civil so why would we subject children to such “behavior”? Furthermore we should only discipline in ways that make us feel good about our actions. Can you discipline in front of an audience and not feel ashamed? If not, then something is wrong.

There are many advocates for corporal punishment (spanking) that argue that children who misbehave will only respond to a good spanking and that parents who do not spank such kids “spoil” them. We hear the “spare the rod” advice all to often.  As stated above, spanking teaches kids that violence is okay and the “rod” referred to in the Bible is not a physical rod to spank with but instead is a symbol for teaching and guiding.

One of TV’s more popular advice experts, psychologist Dr. Phil McGraw, notes on his website that research has shown that “long-term consequences of spanking can include increased aggressiveness, antisocial behavior, and delinquency.” Does that sound like something we want? Surely not!

No matter what immediate benefits that spanking may bring (stopping the misbehavior)  do we as parents want to accept the potential long term consequences? Is it worth it?

In many cases parents spank because they simply don’t have any better ideas or approaches to stop the misbehavior that does not include spanking. Many parents simply raise their children in the manner in which they were brought up. Often times parents do things without even being aware that they are repeating a behavior they were taught as a child. You can break the cycle!

So how do parents break the “spanking cycle”?  A good way is to become informed about the alternative ways of discipline. These alternatives may be more time consuming and frustrating but on one ever said parenting was easy.

Take the time to talk to your child.  It may take a while for your child to respond to “talking” but with consistency and firmness in your approach it can be a much more satisfying and educational moment for both you and your child.

Whether the child is 3 or 9, taking the time to express and communicate your displeasure with a behavior is a rich learning moment.  It may not feel that way at the time, but by honesty and sincerely expressing your discontent in language that reaches your child, you are showing real concern and engaging your child in a way that teaches him respect and good communication.

The consistent show of respect and patience in listening to your child explain his behavior will teach your child the importance of dignity and compassion during those times when it matters most.

You will be exhausted and it will take likely far greater effort than a spanking, but the benefit will far outweigh the inconvenience of fatigue.  You don’t have to be perfect as a parent; you just have to be willing to take each disciplinary experience as a learning one for you and your child.

More reading:

Positive Discipline

The Discipline Book

ADVENTURES IN GENTLE DISCIPLINE

The No-Cry Discipline Solution

Almost from the moments that many babies are born, their mothers lovingly wash and pamper their infants with a wide range of baby products. These products might include soaps, lotions, shampoos, and baby powders and they might be used several times a day.

But have you ever taken the time to read the ingredients listing for a bottle of baby lotion or shampoo? How would you feel if you found out that the products you have been using on your sweet baby are actually a witch’s brew of dangerous ingredients? Most parents would be very unhappy. They might feel as though they had been duped, and rightly so. Many parents put faith in the companies behind conventional baby products because it never enters their minds that products made specifically for babies could be harmful. Unfortunately, there are many baby products available today that have questionable ingredients. Some of these ingredients include synthetic perfumes, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Talc, and Parabens.

But what are they and why are they bad?

• Parabens are actually preservatives that have estrogenic qualities. They have produced abnormal hormonal effects following application on laboratory rodents, particularly male, resulting in decreased testosterone levels and other abnormalities. They have also been found to accumulate in the breast tissue of women with breast cancer.

• Sodium Lauryl Sulfate or SLS for short is an ingredient that gives a product like a shampoo or liquid soap its foaming ability. It is a known skin irritant and in fact when testing new a healing ointment or crème, SLS is the irritant they first rub on the skin to test the healing properties of their new product. SLS can penetrate and be retained in the eyes, brain, heart, and liver with potentially harmful effects according to the journal of the American College of Toxicology. In a baby product, SLS might cause rashes, eczema or other skin irritations. It is shocking that baby products contain such a harsh ingredient. To add further insult, products containing this ingredient are sometimes labeled as “natural” or organic because SLS is a detergent derived from coconut oil.

• Synthetic perfumes or fragrances can contain hundreds of chemicals. Some, such as methylene chloride are carcinogenic and others might cause headaches, dizziness, coughing, vomiting and skin irritation.

• Talc is white-gray mineral powder used as a baby powder. Moms might use it to keep their baby’s skin smooth and dry but unfortunately term long-term use can produce the same effects as those of asbestos.

These ingredients hardly sound appropriate for tender baby skin. So what can you do to avoid these dangerous baby products? First, read the ingredients and look them up online if you have to. Find out what they are and what they do. Second, find reputable companies that offer organic and 100% natural products. Since there is no regulation for organic bath and body products you might need to do some research to find the legitimately natural products. Third, try your hand at making some of your own baby products. If you make your own then you know exactly what is in them and you can feel comfortable that they are safe.

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Worldwide, the median age of weaning is 4.2 years. While this may seem odd to our Western ears, it shows that other cultures have different ideas about how long babies and toddlers need to nurse. Let’s look at a few of the reasons why moms may decide to breastfeed a toddler.

They Enjoy the Nursing Relationship
Sometimes a mom is enjoying the benefits of nursing her infant and the closeness of the relationship, and doesn’t want that to stop just because the baby has turned one year old. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding “for one year or until mutually desirable”. The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends two years of breastfeeding.

Nutritional Benefits
The nutritional benefits of mother’s milk does not expire! Toddlers receive many of the same benefits that infants do from nursing, and the miraculous thing is that mom’s milk changes to meet the needs of the growing baby. Toddlers get a lot of good nutrition from mom’s milk even when they are eating a wide variety of solid foods. This is especially comforting to a mom whose child refuses solids. This does not happen because baby is still nursing. That is a myth. Picky toddlers are often allergic children whose bodies are telling them to wait.

Immune System Benefits
Experts tell us that a baby’s immune system is not fully developed until he is 2 years old. Others say it’s 7 years! To be sure, toddlers are exposing themselves to a lot of things once they are walking around exploring their world. Breastmilk still helps protect them from illness. Many moms of nursing toddlers have been thankful for their tot taking in breast milk when they refuse other foods during sicknesses. This is especially important when toddlers have diarrhea or vomiting and dehydration can be life threatening. Since breast milk is too easily and quickly digested, a toddler can stay hydrated and nourished even when he’s ill.

What’s more, breastfed infants and toddlers are less likely to have adverse vaccine reactions.

Discipline
What in the world does nursing have to do with discipline? Experienced moms say plenty! Toddlers are encountering new and scary and exciting experiences every day. Being able to come back to mom’s lap and the familiarity of her breast, along with the comfort of sucking, can help him manage the changes he’s going through better. Toddlers who feel better behave better. Many nursing moms have been thankful for the calming effect of breastfeeding - both for them and their toddler.

Breastfeeding a toddler can be challenging at times. Toddlers have to learn more about boundaries and limits at this age, including getting the message that mom has feelings too! Nursing is a good place to start teaching a toddler the rules of give and take.

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As parents who wish to raise our children consciously and with love and respect, we can’t always do what comes naturally. Our knee jerk responses to our kid’s less than stellar behavior is often a reflection of our own parents choices. While that may be a good thing, it isn’t always so. We may be choosing to parent quite differently than our own parents did. That isn’t an indictment of them any more than choosing to go breastfeed is a rejection of a mother who formula fed us. It simply means that we’ve decided to make different choices that seem right to us given our knowledge, experience and comfort level.

Parenting consciously means taking the time to think before responding. Instead of doing what everyone else does, we choose our responses and pass them through our filter. We endeavor to parent according to higher standards that may include gentleness, minimizing punishment as a discipline tool, and respect for our child’s understanding and development. And yet in the “heat of the moment”, these higher standards can easily elude us! Here are some ways we can take back control of ourselves first, so we can help our children learn self control.

1) Tame the anger beast. Standard psychological wisdom for years has claimed that letting out your anger was cathartic, therapeutic, and that “holding our feelings in” was bad for our emotional and physical health.

 You know what? That so-called wisdom turned out to be bunk! Now, science has shone light on a different truth thanks to numerous studies on the subject: That expressing anger is actually destructive to our health, that anger is harmful to close relationships, and that it becomes an almost addictive trap that we can’t escape from when we indulge in it. I use the word indulge intentionally, because when we scream at our kids or “vent” on our loved ones, we’re actually indulging our baser instincts, not our higher selves. And then we have the nerve to feel justified because they “pushed our buttons”! So it would behoove us to learn anger management strategies before we damage the relationships with those we love the most.

2) Practice, practice, practice. Have you had a day when you settled down into your pillow at night totally happy with how you treated your kids? What made that day different? Did you spend a lot of time outside? Had you had a good nights’ sleep? Did you get some exercise? Did you leave the room and give yourself a time out? Did you give yourself a break to just relax? Did you count to ten or pray for wisdom?  Take note of what you did. Actually write it down, and commit to practicing that tactic again. It’s likely one that works for you. Instead of trying to change yourself into someone else, do what works for you. Practicing that behavior again and again makes it your habit, and it will serve you well the next time you’re in the situation.

Taking charge of our parenting is a bit like taking charge of our money. Whether we set a budget to discipline ourselves or put credit cards in the freezer to make it difficult to overspend, we can also put our parenting in the area of the conscious instead of the unconscious.

Getting kids to eat more healthy foods is usually a top concern among moms today. There are so many unhealthy options available at the grocery store, at restaurants and eateries, and in the school cafeterias that it seems moms must work extra hard to make sure healthy foods don’t disappear from the menu. This becomes especially important when we take a look at some of the health problems facing young kids today that are increasingly being associated with poor diet such as juvenile diabetes, obesity, attention deficit disorders, and even plaque build-up in the arteries.

What can you do though when your kids just don’t prefer the healthier foods and vegetables in particular? Giving up and letting them eat whatever they want is not an option. It is time to get creative and here are some ideas.

The easiest way to overcome an aversion to vegetables is to hide them inside other foods so that your kids either do not know they are there or they don’t care. This subject has come under fire recently with the release of two recipe books that address this very issue. The Sneaky Chef and Deceptively Delicious are two books that provide instruction on creating vegetable purees and then inserting them within other foods so that kids still get the nutritional benefit of their vegetables while still enjoying the “taste” of their favorite foods. The purees can be used in making macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, pizza, and even brownies.

Some parents have denounced this method saying that sneaking the vegetables into the meal does not effectively teach kids the importance of eating healthfully. Other parents have decided the benefits circumvent this reasoning and do not see why healthy eating education cannot include teaching children to disguise the healthy foods they find unappealing inside the foods they do like, perhaps creating a life long habit.

For parents that do not have the time or desire to make vegetable purees it is also easy to add some leafy greens or flax seeds to a fruit smoothie for a fast and easy beverage or snack.

Invite Your Children to Participate in Meal Preparation

One of the best ways to ensure that kids are enthusiastic about their meal is have them participate in making it. When they help out with meal preparation and cooking they feel a great sense of accomplishment and that in itself makes the meal more appealing. Even younger kids can help out by measuring or mixing ingredients, finding recipes inside magazines or cookbooks, and setting the table. The excitement of making the food can only be surpassed by the excitement of actually trying it.

Give Them Time
It can take many repeated exposures to vegetables at dinner time before kids feel comfortable trying them. The key is not to pressure them and make the dinner hour one of tension. Pressuring kids to eat their vegetables can work against our ultimate goal. Just keep serving vegetables and other healthy foods with each meal and let children get used to seeing them on their plates and their parents plates and often times they will come to accept them in time. Also, remember that children mimic the actions of their parents so the next time the salad is passed to you realize that a big “I LOVE salad” can go along way.

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