Many parents are concerned about the effects of modern technology on their kids. At younger and younger ages, children are spending more and more time interacting not with human beings, but with cell phones, computers, video games, and other devices. Do we have reason to be worried about this, and how do we go about setting limits?

In the book Generation Text, Dr. Osit reveals how the combination of high-tech interaction and immediate gratification is putting our children at risk for developing distorted self-image, poor work ethic, a sense of entitlement, and weakened social skills, as well as aggressive tendencies. Parents owe it to their kids to set boundaries when it comes to the use of gadgets, for their kid’s long term physical, emotional as well as social health.

Statistics show that kids spend more than half of their playtime in front of screens. The effect of this is that they are somewhat disconnected to the family. Why should parents be concerned about this?

   1. Social skills – when “intermachine” interaction replaces people interaction, kids will not readily learn to pick up social nuances. For example, texting eliminates many challenges socially that contain important lessons for kids and teens to learn.
   2. Values – the attitudes and behavior of kids has declined because modern kids have access to the world. The messages they get are not always appropriate.
   3. Anonymity – we get more brazen and nervy when using technology. That’s not always healthy for relationships.

Dr. Osit talks about “access” and “excess” in his book. Access refers to easy availability of the world and other people. Kids can be all over the world in their bedrooms. Children can be exposed to ideas and concepts that are disturbing and that can change their developing brains. In the past, parents tried to protect their kids from these influences until they were more mature and could make better decisions. Now it’s harder than ever to do so.

Excess – kids who live in economically privileged parts of the world have too many privileges and possessions. There is often is a sense of entitlement with these things. What’s acceptable and common for the age group is not always appropriate. Parents need to think about what’s best for their child and family, not what the neighbors are doing.

Instant Gratification

Too much technology can lead to weak delayed gratification muscles. As parents we need to help our kids learn how to delay gratification in order for them to be happy, healthy adults. Many parents are going overboard in expending too much money, time and resources. Parents are operating in a busier, fast paced world and because of guilt we say yes, sometimes to compensate for a lack of time.

Studies show that kids – even teens – really do respect and admire their parents and want to please them. They also crave to spend more time with their parents. We need to start creating more balance with our kids and give them the gift of our focused attention instead of more gadgets.

When used the right way, technology can be a parent’s asset. For instance, with shy kids technology can boost their social ability. It can compensate for their weakness. What’s needed is to establish limits and boundaries with your kids before you give your child the privilege of using technology such as the internet. Instruct them on what they should do for example, if they come across pornography online.

Computers should be kept in a public area of the home and the rules of use posted nearby. Parental controls are easy to implement and some of these are free from the internet service provider. Kids should be coached to come to the parents if they stumble on something inappropriate online. Encourage them to come to you if that happens and help them understand that you won’t get angry but will talk about it. This is an opportunity for you to hand down your values to your kids.

Dr. Osit suggests eliminating distractions during family times and setting a good example by turning off cell phones at the dinner table and on family outings. Model the behavior you want. If a parent is addicted to their “Crackberry” they can hardly criticize their child for being addicted to their Nintendo DS!

You can find this book at Amazon.com

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Working women all over know the joy that comes when they find out there will soon be a baby added to their family.  She and her spouse have a lot of planning to do and a long time to plan.  Many women decide to breastfeed their babies and wonder how being a breastfeeding mom will affect their job.

Breastfeeding isn’t always easy no matter how natural it is.  Add job stress to the fears you may already have about not being able to supply enough milk for your baby, and you may be concerned about the prospects of being able to do both.  You may be glad to know that millions of women have been breastfeeding moms and held down their regular job.

Employers are required by law not to discriminate against breastfeeding moms.  In fact, they may also be required to provide you with a relaxing place where you can pump while you’re at work.  Of course, you would have to pump during your scheduled breaks and during your lunch hour, but they cannot keep you from doing so.

You may wonder if it’s worth the effort to continue breastfeeding.  Here are some reasons why continuing to breastfeed even though you’re stressed from work is a good idea:

* Breastfeeding provides the best nutrition possible for your baby. 

* Pumping while at work will make breastfeeding while you’re at home easier.

* Breastfeeding can save you quite a bit of money. 

* Your baby will be healthier because your breast milk provides antibodies and nutrients that just aren’t available in formula.

* Because your baby is healthier, you’ll miss less work.  This should be enough reason for your employer to encourage your choice to pump while you’re at work.

* You won’t miss your baby as much which could make you more productive.

Be sure to let your boss know that you plan to breastfeed and that you intend to pump during the day to provide your baby with the best possible start.  Talking with them ahead of time will enable them to research the laws concerning breastfeeding and to set aside a private area where you can pump in privacy.

If your company doesn’t have a refrigerator, plan to bring a small cooler that you can use to store the breast milk.  You’ll also need to bring an electric breast pump to make expressing milk quicker.

Don’t beat yourself up if you find that pumping while at work doesn’t work for you.  Remember that your baby will still get the benefits of breast milk while you’re at home on maternity leave.  If you continue to breastfeed when you get home, your child will receive the benefits of breast milk but you’ll have formula to fall back on while you’re apart.

Read: The Nursing Mother’s Companion: Revised Edition

Early childhood caries has risen to the top of the list of childhood diseases with over 25 percent of children affected. Dentists will attribute poor oral hygiene, nighttime nursing and starchy foods as the cause. Unfortunately, many of the affected children do brush their teeth well, eat a reasonable diet, and not all of them nurse at night, so there has to be some other underlying cause.

I have a child with early childhood caries. Our saga began when we noticed one of her front teeth was rapidly decaying before she turned two. A visit to the family dentist found six of her upper teeth were essentially dissolving. The pediatric dentist who saw her next recommended surgery under anesthesia where the affected teeth would be cleaned out and fitted with metal crowns. My husband and I opted to take a wait and see approach and explore the possibility of our daughter’s caries being nutritionally related. A year later, we have managed to arrest her caries through improving her diet, and it is this information I want to share with you.

The most important dietary change is to eliminate all refined flour and sugar. While most of us look at white flour as a non-nutrient, for a child suffering from dental caries, white flour is downright toxic. As a parent, you can be doing everything else right, but continued exposure to white flour can negate all other efforts. You can’t just switch over to whole wheat products, either, as whole wheat often means mostly white flour with a bit of whole wheat flour thrown in for good measure. You have to make your baked goods from scratch and the safest ones are those made from freshly ground sprouted wheat berries. Additionally, the flour should be presoaked in a solution containing yogurt or whey to improve the digestibility. My daughter does not get any baked goods unless I have made them myself.

Eliminating sugar may seem obvious. White sugar is a no-no, but so are the various natural unrefined sweeteners out there, including Rapadura, Sucanat, date sugar, honey, and stevia. Foods high in natural sugars should be limited, and possibly avoided altogether at first, especially if your child is experiencing tooth pain.

You should implement a steady supplementation program using high vitamin butter oil and fermented cod liver oil, both available at www.greenpasture.org and www.radiantlifecatalog.com. The two supplements should be given together two to three times a day with food. The food you provide your child should be rich in fat and protein. Foods that will fight dental decay include liver and bone marrow and eggs from pastured animals, raw milk, cream and butter from pastured cows, wild-caught salmon, whole clams and mussels, whole crabs, and steak. Blended soups based with bone broth are excellent because you can include lots of fresh vegetables and you can sneak in a generous amount of liver. Fermented vegetable preparations like sauerkraut and beet kvass are also highly nutritious if your child will take them.

The main principle in treating dental caries through nutrition is to follow the principles of the Weston Price Foundation, which call for foods in their whole, natural state, and to avoid processed foods that are devoid of nutrients.

After your first few weeks, breastfeeding in the comfort of your own home is
enjoyable. But sometimes but nursing around your relatives during the busy holiday season, at family reunions and other events has its challenges. Some moms have complained that their family members give unwanted advice, especially around discipline or weaning. It’s not uncommon for relatives to criticize your parenting choices especially when those differ from their choices.

Another issue when breastfeeding around extended family are difficulties in regards to the act of nursing in public itself – whether to do so discreetly where you are or to retreat to another area. No one wants to hide away as if nursing is shameful, but what if you get only flack from your relatives when it’s time to meet baby’s needs?

Here are a few suggestions on how to make things a little easier.

Some moms choose to pump their milk and bottle feed it during this time. That is an option, however, if you are not accustomed to using a breast pump, the additional stress of learning the pump combined with other busyness and stress common to the holiday season might prove to be too much. It could be discouraging when you do not get as much milk as you think you should (since babies are far better at extracting milk from the breast than any pump) and if your pump is not a high quality pump, you could even cause yourself pain.
It is far easier to simply nurse the baby as you would at home, but how do you get around some of these challenges?

Many moms find that a baby sling is an absolute heaven send when breastfeeding around family or at other times when your privacy may be invaded by people or noise.
A baby sling covers you up but also creates a little cocoon for baby so he can get down to business and breastfeed effectively. If your baby skips feedings due to being over stimulated, you may end up with a plugged duct or worse, mastitis. You do not want that during this busy season.

Plugged ducts are common during the holidays anyway due to the additional activity and stress associated with it. A plugged duct can turn into mastitis, which is quite painful and can leave you feeling like you have been hit by a truck, so make sure you take the time to settle baby down and nurse on a regular basis.

It is also important that you get plenty of rest. At the very least, take time to put your feet up when it is time for a feeding, and close your eyes and nap if possible. Do not forget to feed yourself well too. Don’t binge on junk food commonly served during holiday and other festivities, but keep eating a healthy, whole foods diet to keep your immune system strong.

How do you deal with criticism from relatives who don’t respect your parenting philosophies? That can be a tough nut to crack. If the relative in question is a mother herself, it helps to remember that her own experience with breastfeeding colors her perspective. If she had a hard time or was not successful with breastfeeding, her guilt may come out as criticism of you.

If this is a person you see only rarely (such as once a year at Thanksgiving), it might be best to drop the subject and just let the comments slide right by without acknowledgement. But if it is going to be an ongoing problem, try to head off comments at the pass by saying something like:

” I do appreciate your perspective on things, however we have decided to do what we feel is best for our family .”

Breastfeeding book author Amy Spangler suggests that instead of answering the question directly, we direct it back to the person. Ask about their breastfeeding experience, and listen empathically. Point out that your choices are not a criticism of their choices.
Setting appropriate boundaries with family is an important lesson to learn, regardless of the area of discussion.

Doula comes from the Greek word for “woman servant”. A doula is someone, usually a female, who attends to the pregnant mom during labor. She is useful for a variety of reasons, from being your biggest advocate, to help keep things under control, and being a wonderful supporter. A doula can run hundreds of dollars if you go through a private business. However, some hospitals and natural student schools offer doulas for around $100-$150. If you are able to find one for that price and are pregnant, I highly recommend splurging for one as you could really use the support in one of your most challenging endeavors in life!

First, you’ll meet with your doula a few times before the actual birth to create a birth plan together and get to know one another. A birth plan serves as your “voice” during labor. You can sit down with your partner, or with a loved one if you are single, and discuss how you’d like the labor to go. Do you want to avoid drugs if possible? Do you want a home birth? Do you want to breastfeed your baby directly after giving birth? All of this will go in your birth plan and your doula will help you create that, using your best wishes and intentions.

As soon as you know you are going into labor, you can give your doula a call and she’ll rush to your side. If you’re giving birth at the hospital, she is a great asset is finding out info from your midwife or doctor on your behalf and advocating your wishes from your birth plan. If you are having a home birth, she can play the part of the “nurturer” while your midwife attends to more of your medical needs.

It’s not uncommon to have a doula massage your belly during contractions or even massage the perenial area to soften the tissues for baby’s head. She’ll work with you in the tub if you want or put on some soft music and recite a meditation to help you relax. Think of a doula as your personal servant, as this is what you are paying her to do. She also is very useful in helping couples focus on the birth and one another, rather than worrying about other factors that she’ll take care of.

After giving birth, your doula will assist you in breastfeeding for the first couple of times. Odds are you’ll be very exhausted after giving birth, and even if you have read all the literature on breastfeeding, you might be too sleepy to do it on your own. Luckily, she is there, assisting you, but not taking over so you can still be the one bonding with your new child! Speaking from personal experience, she was more than worth the $100 I spent! (Some doulas will do after-visits as well.)